Mindful Matter
Why are you here?
Are you here to learn something or prove something? I just read an article by Jason Fried. Jason is a remarkable thinker, author (Getting Real, Remote, REWORK) and entrepreneur — and he often drops deep nuggets of wisdom. In the article, Jason vulnerably shares how he would often be quick to respond to
Learn moreOn Self-Reliance.
I finally read Self-Reliance — an essay by Ralph Waldo Emerson that has been on my “To Read” list for too long. Though at times a bit tough to chew, and at times rather preachy, I have to say I couldn’t put my highlighter down. The essay is full of
Learn moreTomorrow / today.
“What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were grateful for today?” I came across this question recently and love how powerful a thought exercise it is. I started thinking about all the minutia in my life that I take for granted. The list snowballed to
Learn moreLife is simple.
Life is simple. It sounds obvious, but often it feels impossible. What is it about life that makes it feel so complicated? Is it our jobs? Our families? Our bills? Our past relationships or the future ones we are waiting for? Probably, it’s the intertwining chaos of each of these (and more) elements as they intersect in our lives every day. But there is a hack. Take a step back. Take a step back and remember that life is nothing more than a constant stream of moments. If you live to your hundreds, your journey through life is made up of about 38 million of them. Philosopher and writer Alan Watts (one of my faves!) said: “I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is.“ Don’t worry about having a great life. Just focus on being grateful for this very minute. There will undoubtedly be challenges along the way. But if you find ways to appreciate where you are now, you might start to feel that life is indeed simple. Mike and Dave RadparvarCo-Founders, Holstee Our Simplicity Kit can help you cut the clutter out of your daily lives so you can focus on the essentials. Become a member today →
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Are they the one?
I met up with a friend recently and we were making small talk. Work, the weather, our favorite burrito in Brooklyn — the usual. At one point, he paused. He looked up and asked me, “How did you know she was the one?” He didn’t just want to know how I knew that Jess was the right life partner for me. He also wanted to know if perhaps the person he was dating could be the right partner one for him. It was a great question, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I thought about it later that night when I returned home and sent him this note: I don't believe in "the one" in the soul mate sense. I do believe there are partners out there that will bring us greatness now and in the future and in turn, it will bring us immense pleasure to bring greatness to them. By greatness, I mean satisfaction, fulfillment, and growth in every sense of each word. You will be both a supporter and a mentor to each other. You are aligned on the values you are passionate about. You will challenge each other's views and comfort each other when no one else can. Most importantly, you respect each other enough to listen and you care enough to understand. When you realize you are the best versions of the people you wish to be when you are around each other, you will know you never want to leave each others’ sides. Don't be afraid to fall in love. But I’m just in my 30s — what the hell do I know? 😉 How did you, or will you, know when you’ve found the right partner for you? Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee P.S. Romantic love is only one of the many types of relationships we have in our lives. In our Kinship Guide, we explore six different kinds of relationships as defined by the ancient Greeks. Become a member to dig deeper →
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A cabin, Joni Mitchell, and goosebumps.
Sometimes I read or listen to something a handful of times and I don’t feel anything. Then in another moment, in the right headspace, with an open mind and open heart, I do. And I get it. Growing up, I would randomly hear Joni Mitchell classics on the radio. I never really thought much about it. Then a few months ago, my wife and I took a weekend trip to a sparsely furnished cabin in the California redwoods. It had a small kitchen, a fireplace, a record player and a handful of records — one of which was a vinyl for Blue, one of Joni's best-known albums. We wound up listening to that record all night while reading the lyrics cover-to-cover. That night, I didn’t just hear the album, I felt it. It was as if they were completely different songs, just because of my state of mind. Now, each of the songs has taken on a whole new meaning for me. It happened again more recently. Mike shared this popular quote from author Marianne Williamson to our team chat group. It's a quote I had seen a handful of times before, but this time I slowed down and really let it sink in. Here is that quote. I suggest you read it when you have the space to fully absorb it. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Goosebumps. It's your turn to shine. Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee Our Passion Guide helps you identify and pursue what makes you come alive. Get access to this and our other themed guides by becoming a Holstee Member →
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What if the sun kept score?
“I did the dishes every night this week; you just left yours in the sink.” “The last three times he invited me out for coffee, I picked up the tab.” “I put 10 hours of work into the project. You only put in two.” It’s easy to keep score in our relationships — to quantify our actions. But after a while, things that we might normally do out of generosity and love, we start to do with resentment. And when we act out of resentment, no one wins. The “favor” you did doesn’t help your relationship if you are looking for something in return. Whenever I think of infinite generosity, I think of two things: 1. The first is my parents, who have given me life, love, and so much more without ever asking for anything in return. 2. The second is this quote from the Persian poet Hafez: "Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, 'You owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky." When was the last time you thanked the sun? Lucky for us, the sun isn’t keeping score. Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
Learn moreWhere do we begin?
I remember it perfectly. It was November 9, 2016. It was overcast in New York City and the people around me looked dazed, like a dear family member had passed. The mood was oddly somber, especially in contrast to the daily buzz of the city. It was the day after Trump was elected. I was too distraught and cloudy-headed to be productive, so I took to a cafe to sit and reflect with my journal. I was looking for an answer, some wisdom on how to move forward. While looking out the window, I saw a homeless man approach a younger woman about to enter the cafe. I'm embarrassed to say that my biases and city cynicism got the best of me, and I sympathized with the young woman rather than the homeless man. “So unfortunate,” I thought, “getting harassed by this man just as she is starting her day.” After a brief interaction with the man, she came into the cafe and ordered some coffee and baked goods to-go. Outside, she stopped and gave the man a fresh coffee and a bag of croissants. Then it hit me. That in dark times, when you don’t know where to start, start with love. Love as a path to generosity. Love as a path to peace. Boundless, limitless, unexpected, and unconditional love for this planet and the beings on it. It's a moment that I frequently come back to. So often, it’s natural to resort to anger, judgement, and fear when faced with a difficult situation. But sometimes, as difficult as it may feel, the only way out is through love. In our Compassion Guide, we share our favorite loving kindness meditation to help you radiate love to the world around you. It’s a simple but powerful exercise in leading with love. Become a member today →
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Never stop creating.
It happened to me recently. And it happens to so many of us at some point in our lives. You create something beautiful — so beautiful that you want to share it with the world. And you do (because you are brave... or had a glass of wine 😉). You were right. It is beautiful, and your friends (and even some strangers!) tell you so. YES! You are creative. You are a dreamer, but you are also a doer — and this time you did it! But then, a hater (s)trolls in with an, “Eh really… is that what you have been spending your last month on?” Darkness. All the light and energy from compliments and encouragement are covered in a cloud of shade. Your heart feels like a black hole and you wish your body could disappear into it. WAIT. Before you crumble from the inside out. Take a moment. Take a moment for yourself. First, remember you are not your work. You can love what you do, but you are not what you do. You aren’t your work, you are its creator — and its protector. Stand tall. You have created and that’s more than most can say. Now, let’s take a moment for the hater. Yup. The hater. Gather the energy from every corner of your body. Think about all your cells and fill them with love, the same type of love you have for your best friend. Now gather all that love in your heart and imagine sending it directly to that hater. You see, the hater hates because they were once like you. But way back when, some other hater hated on them. And now they can never do what you have done. They stopped trying to create and they lost the courage to share. They need some of what you’ve got. Eventually, with enough love, that hater will remember how powerful and delicate the act of creating is. We are born with the wisdom to live well and live with love. But sometimes we forget. Every month in our membership, we focus on the values we know are important but often don’t remember. Sign up for the Holstee Membership today. And never stop creating. Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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