Mindful Matter
This one is non-negotiable.
There are hundreds. No, thousands. Or even millions of ways this day and every day could unfold. Some of the day ahead is in our control. But most of it is not. Unexpected appointments, errands, phone calls, emergencies, and celebrations will inevitably arise. Items on our “to-do” list will go unchecked. It can feel like we are pursuing an unachievable goal, a never-ending list. It can feel like it’s our fault we don't accomplish everything we wanted, like we have no control, like our willpower is fully depleted. For months, I felt like this. Working full days and often into the late evening, yet never fully catching up with my work and my personal goals. Despite all my efforts during the day, I never felt like I had done enough. What is “enough” anyway? 😕 Then I stumbled upon the idea of “one non-negotiable” on Brian Johnson's Optimize website (which I highly recommend). This concept was developed by Michelle Segar, who has a PhD in Psychology and master’s degrees in Health Behavior and Kinesiology. In her book No Sweat!, she shares the idea of a self-care hierarchy. Imagine a pyramid, and at the bottom is the one habit or goal that is essential for you. Do that one thing, and your day is already starting on the right foot. It could be getting eight hours of sleep, writing in your journal, or meditating. For me, it’s going outside each morning and stretching. I need the fresh air and I need to move my body. Because that’s the base of my pyramid, after doing it I feel like I'm going in the right direction. It's amazing how by exercising willpower in one area of life, it becomes easier to use it in other areas of life. While I still don’t always finish what I set out to do in my to-do list, on the days that I do my “one non-negotiable,” I know that I made an effort to set myself up for success. What is your “one”? Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee P.S. Not sure which goal you want to choose? Our Intention Guide explores the difference between intention and goals and helps you set up your own SMART goals. Become a member today →
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What do you want from me?
Trying to find your life’s work can be a tiring existential rollercoaster. It triggers us to assess what we are and aren’t good at. It forces us to question if we have made the right school and career decisions. We start wondering why we work at all... and eventually why we bother doing anything at all. We start thinking about the meaning of...
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Forget the labels.
It happens all the time. We try to simplify the story of someone’s existence into a single label. We are incredibly quick to categorize everyone and everything — creating labels for both ourselves and others. A jock, a Jew, a hipster, a tourist, a Republican, a Knicks fan. We do this to better understand where we belong and where others belong in our lives. The problem is that a single label packs a string of assumptions, stereotypes, and ideas that rarely capture the true essence of a person. The truth is, the better we understand ourselves, the more we understand how similar we are. At the same time, the more we understand the universe, the more we understand how meaningless these labels really are. Not only are we humans so very similar in so many ways, but we are also similar biologically and historically to the animal kingdom we evolved from and the environment we are destroying. At the most simple level, we are of the same basic elements. Sometimes you just need to take a step back to see something in its entirety. To get perspective. Mike and Dave RadparvarCo-Founders, Holstee We're here to encourage you to take that time to pause, reflect, and reframe. Our Reflection Guide (coming to Holstee Members in December) is a great tool. Become a member today →
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It’s easy to find ourselves in a dark place.
Just open the news and read the headlines and it can feel like the whole world is falling apart. We have a megalomaniac with the temper of a two-year-old and the manners of a high school bully in the most important office in America. Climate change is happening, and the people with the power to take action have instead decided to
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We are focusing on the wrong problem.
It's easy to feel distracted. Like we are busy but not getting anywhere. When this happens, we need to get to the source of our restlessness. For us, a big source of tension comes from being surrounded by a single message of
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The tradition that deepened our relationships.
Why does it feel like making and keeping friendships is so much harder now than it was when we were younger? It’s hard to meet new people. It’s difficult to keep in touch with old friends. And it often feels like we don’t have the time to build deep and meaningful relationships. Everyone is busy and everyone has their own ambitions, for the places they want to go and the things they want to do. It seems that everyone is moving — sometimes in the same direction, but always on their own path and on
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This word is missing from our vocabulary.
The word I was looking for was arete. The Greeks, in all their wisdom, came up with a single word that carries with it one of the greatest pursuits of humankind. Arete means “to exist to your full potential”.
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Because life is short.
Yup. It’s true. And it’s scary. One day, a day that could be as soon as today or decades away, it will inevitably happen. So far as history and science have shown us, our physical bodies will return to the earth. It’s a terrifying thought, but it’s also an enabling one. In fact, the Stoics — some of the most prolific philosophical thinkers in...
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