Mindful Matter
Should we let the giraffes go?
The last time my wife and I took our daughter to the zoo, we had a great time. But while there, I couldn’t stop thinking. Even though this zoo was thoughtfully designed, it seemed that many of the animals, especially the larger mammals, had a certain sadness to them. I wondered if by going to the zoo, I was enabling something that possibly went against my values.Having just reviewed the Integrity Guide where we explore some basic concepts of Applied Ethics, I realized I was considering this dilemma through the lens of virtue ethics.Virtue ethics refers to moral decisions that are made according to the virtues that a person holds.In addition to virtue ethics, we cover two other approaches to ethical decisions in the guide:Deontology refers to moral decisions that are made according to a set of rules or a code of conduct upheld by a religion, profession, country, or other shared group. Utilitarianism refers to moral decisions that are made according to their “utility” or the happiness they produce; essentially, actions are moral as long as they produce good outcomes for the majority.Armed with these new perspectives, my inner deontologist got me to consider how this zoo was not breaking any laws. In fact, they were going above and beyond what any governing rules expected of them as a zoo, with spacious, naturalistic habitats, enrichment activities, and a loving staff that seems to really care about the animals’ well-being. Finally the utilitarian part of me chimed in. It started with an acknowledgment that the zoo is not ideal. It observed how the lives of these animals might be negatively impacted by it. But, it also got me to consider the number of people that a single zoo could inspire. If, as a society, more people learn about and appreciate animals, they might be more willing to help protect them in the wild, possibly even inspiring a future generation of Jane Goodalls. On a grand scale, wouldn’t all animals be better off if humans could see the majesty and importance of living beings beyond our own species?Reflecting on this was a great reminder that few things are entirely right or wrong.In everyday moral disagreements, hot takes and sound bites are entertaining, but they prevent us from thinking critically about our own view and from appreciating the many layers of an opposing view.While I am not prepared to declare virtue ethics, deontology, or utilitarianism as the winning approach, having different lenses to approach the same dilemma allowed me to better appreciate and create space for the nuance of the issue.To expanding perspective and appreciating nuance, Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee P.S. If you have been considering a Holstee Membership, this is the week! Sign up before Friday to lock in legacy rates before our rates increase. Learn more about our Membership →
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Antifragile.
“Wind extinguishes a candle and energizes fire.” – Nassim Nicholas Taleb In this month’s Online Member Gathering, we had a thought-provoking (and very timely) discussion about Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s book Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder. In it he describes a spectrum of resilience that objects, ideas, and even individuals fall on. The three markers on Taleb’s resilience spectrum are fragility, robustness, and, finally, antifragility. Fragile things (a champagne glass, a candle) are vulnerable to even the slightest force. Robust things (a rubber tire, a shield in battle) endure change, but with time and enough shock will break. Antifragile things (good ideas, evolution, and, unfortunately, wildfires) sustain and can even become stronger when challenged. Large-scale, negative forces like natural disasters, divisive politics, and a global pandemic can seem insurmountable, especially when occurring at once. This makes us, as individuals, feel vulnerable and fragile. In the current moment, each of us is being pushed to new limits, almost to the point of breakdown. However, these same forces also push us to create robust and even antifragile countermeasures: neighbors coming to one another's aid, renewed interest and involvement in our governing bodies, and novel approaches to old problems. Our ability and willingness to collectively solve problems are the building blocks of an antifragile society. If enough of us choose to respond to these challenging times through compassionate engagement, we could come out stronger than before. To our shared strength and antifragility, Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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Building up from common ground
“When people live in acute stress, either the cracks in their relationship will be amplified or the light that shines through the cracks will be amplified. You get an amplification of the best and of the worst.” - Esther Perel
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The Power of Ritual
“Rituals make the invisible connections that make life meaningful, visible.” — Casper ter Kuile Growing up, the rituals in my life were mostly connected to religious practices. For example, in October, for Sukkot, we’d build a temporary structure (a Sukkah) in our backyard and enjoy meals and each other's company outside. It’s been decades since I’ve participated in a Sukkah building ritual, though I still appreciate the sentiments behind this practice: enjoying nature, the feeling of togetherness, and so much more. So, for the past five years, my wife and I have made a point to go camping in October. It’s among the most spiritually fulfilling things we do each year. But what makes it so? In his book, The Power of Ritual, author and Harvard Divinity School Fellow Casper ter Kuile suggests that “just about anything can become a spiritual practice—gardening, painting, singing, snuggling, sitting.” He continues, “We just need to be clear about our intention (what are we inviting into this moment?), bring it our attention (coming back to being present in this moment), and make space for repetition (coming back to this practice time and again). In this way, rituals make the invisible connections that make life meaningful, visible.” Casper’s words made it clear to me why our simple annual camping trip has become such a rich source of joy for our family. Casper’s research and writing on rituals, and the power they have to bring deeper meaning to our lives, really struck a chord with me and the Holstee team. So much so, in fact, that we have spent the last few months collaborating with Casper on developing a new tool to help people live with meaning: the Ritual Life Planner. The Ritual Life Planner is designed to help you identify, organize, and embrace the rituals in your life. We are still in the final phases of production and sampling, but we are too excited not to share a sneak peek! :-) If you would like to be kept in the loop about this product, please let us know by signing up on this early interest page! Here’s to finding and embracing meaning in all areas of life, Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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Becoming better grownups.
“Sometimes insecurities can scream so loudly that you become unable to hear all the great possibilities whispering underneath them.” - Brad Montague As the father of a two-year-old, I am constantly thinking about what it means to be a better grownup. So when I came across Brad Montague’s book, literally titled Becoming Better Grownups, I bumped it right to the top of my queue. Early in the book, Brad perfectly summarized something that I thought was unique to me: “I often convince myself that I am not a real grownup and that other people are. These other real people have it all figured out. I, on the other hand, am a fraud. I am a giant child who, because he's had the right number of birthdays, has suddenly been given ridiculous amounts of responsibility.” Brad goes on to describe a time when he was invited by a third-grade teacher to watch her students present responses to a prompt he had posted online: “The world would be more awesome if _____”. The invitation came at a time in Brad’s life when he was feeling unhappy and unconfident in his work. “These young, hope-filled hearts didn’t need a tired, burned-out old guy,” Brad thought to himself. ”There are plenty of better grownups for this task.” He told himself that the teacher must have made a mistake and didn’t respond to the email. But the teacher was unrelenting. Because she seemed to wholeheartedly believe in him, Brad finally agreed to visit her school. It turned out to be one of the most fulfilling things he had done in a long time and kicked off a listening tour with hundreds of classrooms around the country — which then snowballed into greater adventures, including this book. Reflecting on that moment, Brad writes: “There's something I've been learning … Better grownups do not believe that they should just wait around for other better grownups to show up. There might be people around who are more skilled at budgeting than you are. There might be people around who are more experienced at building than you are. There might be people around who are more trained to do any number of things better than you can. Please know this: No one is better suited to be you than you. You are perfectly cast in your role, and we need you. Children need you. The world needs you. Even though they might feel inadequate, great grownups show up. So, show up. Show up. Show up.” So if you, like me, don’t always feel like a “real grownup”, please know that you are not alone. There are many more of us out there, and we can all have each other’s back — if we show up. Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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Passion projects that changed everything.
This month, we’re excited to launch a product we are really passionate about — the mobile app for our digital journaling platform Reflection.app, now available (for free!) in the Apple App Store and Google Play Store. Since we started Holstee in 2009, August has historically been a month for launching new passion projects (it’s also the month we explore the theme of Passion with our members!). When I reflect back on it, many of these passion projects wound up being pivotal, impacting our business (and our lives) in unexpected ways. So before sharing all that went into this month’s mobile launch, I’d love to take a walk down memory lane… August 2010 — We began selling our Upcycled Wallets. Holstee started out as a t-shirt company, but in August 2010 we decided to expand our range to include wallets. The idea sparked from a personal pain point; Mike and I couldn’t find a wallet that met our minimalist design requirements and were made sustainably. So we decided to design one ourselves, and we partnered with an NGO in India to produce them from upcycled plastic bags. It wasn’t an easy decision; not only were accessories a departure from t-shirts, but the project required high minimums and trusting a new partner we had never worked with before. Both Mike and I felt there was something “there”, though, so we moved forward — and eventually, our wallet sales outpaced our t-shirt sales. But even more impactful for me personally was what came next. A few months later, I was interviewed by a design blog about the process of working with artisans internationally. A friend-of-a-friend interested in artisan production read that article and reached out to learn more — fast forward nearly a decade, Jess and I recently welcomed our baby Shilo into the world. August 2013 — We did a Kickstarter campaign for our Reclaim Frame. Once again we found ourselves excited about a completely new product that required us to work with new materials and a new partner. At this point, the Holstee Manifesto had grown in popularity and we were producing more posters, prints, and greeting cards. We wanted to create a new type of frame that would make it easy to swap art prints in and out, and we worked with Michigan-based social enterprise, Urban Ashes, to make it with reclaimed materials. As one of our Kickstarter reward levels, we thought it would be cool to offer an art subscription — a new letterpress print that fit perfectly into the frame, delivered to backers each month. Over time, the art subscription evolved far beyond just art. First we added a short letter from Mike and I, then a little pamphlet with questions, then eventually a monthly theme. Step by step, the art subscription has grown into what is now Holstee’s core offering — our Membership. August 2016 — We did another Kickstarter campaign for our Reflection Cards. We wanted to make our Reflection Cards for years, but we kept holding off to focus on the Holstee Membership. Eventually, we decided to just test the idea as a Kickstarter campaign to see if it resonated with our community. They have since become a community favorite. We have produced over 20,000 decks to date, we just passed 100 reviews on Amazon, and the cards are now carried at major retailers like Anthropologie and Urban Outfitters. The Reflection Cards have also opened the door to exciting partnership opportunities for us, including a collaboration with the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California-Berkeley that resulted in our recent Greater Good Toolkit launch. When I look back, I see a few patterns. For each of these projects... + We took a chance on an idea that we were very passionate about, but which was just beyond our comfort zone. + Our main motivation wasn’t financial — it always came from a deep-rooted desire to bring the project to life. We felt a creative pressure that we needed to explore. + We took on a fairly large (though calculated) risk, requiring an upfront investment of time, energy, and money. Back to today and this month’s launch… August 2020 — We launched Reflection.app for iOS and Android. 😎 For several years, we’ve made an Annual Reflection Journal to help our members (and ourselves!) reflect at the end of each year. Over time, we realized that our annual reflection would be easier and more meaningful if we had a monthly review practice… and those monthly reviews would be easier and more meaningful if we had a place to track our daily highlights and lowlights. And wouldn’t it be great if it were all digital? After speaking with hundreds of people in our community, we realized we were not alone. In November 2019, we released a beta of Reflection.app — an online journal that guides your personal growth each month. Within weeks, the top requested feature was a native mobile app to make adding on-the-go entries easier. This month, thanks to the hard work of our developers Britannio, Bryan, and Edward, we are proud to announce that Reflection.app is now available to download for iOS and Android! Like our other passion projects, building Reflection.app required us to step outside our comfort zone and take on risks to our time, energy, and finances. But also like our other passion projects, it’s been fueled by exciting creative energy and the strong belief that building this app will add value to people’s lives. Of course, we hope the app is a success and that we are able to continue to invest into its growth. But I also wonder… could Reflection.app, like our other August launches, lead to something else unexpected entirely? What doors have now been opened as a result of taking a chance, listening to our hearts, and following our passion? Excited for what lies ahead! Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee P.S. This email talks a lot about our past successes. It’s easy to talk about successes, but I also want to make really clear that we have also had some massive product launch flops! And even with (actually, especially with) these successful launches, there were many trying moments that caused us to question our path all together. It’s rarely been easy, but it’s always been worth it.
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We get to do this.
A few weeks ago, I shared the news that my wife and I were expecting a baby any day now. Well, that day has arrived and I am happy to share that our family is now three. Shilo Bez Radparvar was born on July 12th at 9pm at a birthing center here in Amsterdam. We are filled with awe, wonder, gratitude, and of course, a bit of exhaustion as we adapt to his sleep schedule :-). One of my wife's mantras during the more challenging parts of her pregnancy was, “I get to do this”. It was a simple idea she picked up from author James Clear — rephrasing “I have to to do this” to “I get to do this” as a reminder of all there was to be grateful for. During these first few weeks of middle-of-the-night diaper changes, “I get to do this” has become a mantra for me as well. I don’t have to change his diaper, I get to. A reminder that every moment with Shilo, even the stinkiest ones, are moments I wouldn't trade for anything. Filled with love and likely covered in poop, Dave RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee P.S. Here is a photo of Shilo: And here is my favorite video clip — it's one minute of him stretching and yawning after he woke up the other day. It’s minutes like these that energize me for the rest of the day :-)
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Writer’s block.
To date, we’ve written over 150 Reflections as part of this email series. As much as I love the opportunity to share and discuss these topics, I still find it daunting every time I sit down to write one. What to say? Where to begin? To help, I have these words of wisdom from writer Anne Lamott written in large letters across the top of my writing screen: “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft.” This quote reminds me that I need to start somewhere — and that somewhere is likely a “shitty first draft”, as Lamott so perfectly puts it. As we explore the theme of Creativity this month, I am reminded of the importance of simply starting in order to get over a creative block. We need to recognize our resistance to the challenge and the discomfort that comes from trying something new and knowing that we might fail. Creativity requires us to face this fear of failure... and do it anyway. Because if we don’t start, we’ll never finish. To just starting somewhere, Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee
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Vuja De.
You have probably heard of Déjà vu — the feeling that you have experienced the current moment before, but what about the opposite? The concept Vuja De, originally coined by George Carlin during a comedy routine, caught the attention of author Adam Grant (who you may remember from last week's Reflections email) in his pursuit to better understand innovation and creativity. In his book, Originals, Grant says: “The starting point [of creativity] is curiosity: pondering why the default exists in the first place. We’re driven to question defaults when we experience vuja de, the opposite of déjà vu. Déjà vu occurs when we encounter something new, but it feels as if we’ve seen it before. Vuja de is the reverse—we face something familiar, but we see it with a fresh perspective that enables us to gain new insights into old problems.” Last week in our Online Member Gathering, as a group we discussed Vuja De and the ways it has helped us. One member described becoming aware of their white privilege, while another employed it to improve a relationship with a colleague, and a while back Dave shared his experience of really feeling music he had heard many times before. Another member observed that while Deja Vu tends to be passive, Vuja De requires you to be proactive and willing to expand your perspective. When was the last time you experienced Vuja De? To experience the world with fresh eyes, Mike RadparvarCo-Founder, Holstee P.S. This past Thursday, we announced the launch of our new Coaches Kit — a collection of several of our favorite products from the past few years, bundled together at a big discount for the coaches, facilitators, and gatherers in our community. Take a look — and if there’s anyone you think would appreciate it, we’d love if you could share it!
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